Listen up
You already know that good communication leads to stronger relationships and better mental health. But did you know that - especially in the case of your loved ones - it can also benefit their physical health as well?!
Recent research has measured the impact that a supportive conversation has on the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in that person’s body when they are feeling stressed. If cortisol continues to remain on the rampage for too long it can lead to all sorts of issues, commonly including sleep disorders and heart disease. Simply by choosing to communicate in a particular style, you have the power to help alleviate their stress, enhance their emotional state and alter their body’s physiology, calming their flow of cortisol.
When we see any of our loved ones in distress, we naturally want to help them. But have you ever jumped in too quickly with all the answers to help protect them, only to find out later that you’ve made the problem ten time worse? Here are a few top tips to keep your supportive conversations effective:
1. Acknowledge the person’s problems and validate their stress without providing any judgement.
2. Avoid trying to belittle or distract them away from their issue. Try not to say “It doesn’t really matter” or “don’t worry about it” as these phrases are dismissive and might not be very helpful.
3. Listen with full attention, showing signs of understanding like head nodding and take strategic pauses to relay back what you’ve been hearing (and seeing) to enforce the fact you’re listening attentively and interpreting correctly.
4. Ask open questions to encourage them to verbalise their situation and feelings. Avoid one-word answer (closed) questions.
5. Repeatedly make eye contact and when appropriate offer any reassuring touch, especially if they are visibly upset.
6. Avoid offering any advice unless specifically asked for it. Qualify any advice as being your own opinion and encourage your partner to make their own decision.
This week’s challenge is to practice your listening skills. Remember, two ears & one mouth. Instead of listening “on the surface” and making quick judgements (look out for confirmation bias!), aim for a layer beneath and build greater understanding.
By practicing the art of listening more, talking less, and understanding the other point of view in many of your conversations this week, you might find it starts to become more natural when supporting your loved ones and you may also find it incredibly helpful in your work too.
I hope this helps bring a little more meaning to the term Heart to Heart.
Have a great week.
#HealthyHabits
